“If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.” (1 Cor 12:26)
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On August 11th, 2014 the world mourned the death of the great actor and comedian, Robin Williams. It came as a shock that the father, friend, husband, and cause of so much laughter committed suicide. In the following days, news pundits, radio DJs, bloggers and more chimed in on this tragedy. Some called his final act to take his life, selfish.  Others sympathized, saying, “It was his only way out.” Since then, we have witnessed suicide of many other high profile celebrities such as Chris Cornell, Chester Bennington, and most recently Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain. It’s absolutely tragic.

Additionally tragic is that statistics are showing suicide rates are up nearly 30% since 1999. For many of us, it hits too close to home. When a loved one takes his or her own life, in addition to the heartbreak, questions mount. Could something have been done? Is it preventable? Often times, survivor’s guilt sets in and one may be left wondering, could I have done more?

As we begin to understand depression more deeply, it becomes clearer that it is not a matter of selfishness; it is a condition that is overwhelming and often manifests itself in loneliness and ongoing hurt deep within. It does not always show itself publicly.

There are a number of reasons why depression can take hold of someone and cause such pain and anguish, and no one is immune. It can come from chemical imbalance, situational changes such as loss of loved ones, constant aloneness, unemployment and sense of worthlessness, and much more.

Suffering of the soul is indiscriminate. It has no partiality as witnessed by the deaths of these high profile celebrities to the many military veterans to our close friends, loved ones, and even ourselves.

For the Orthodox Christian who believes in eternal life, living in the world, I often hear the question, “What happens to someone who commits suicide?” How do we approach such a painful situation. How do we talk about the person who struggles with depression and takes their own life?

For many years, society and the Church almost exclusively discouraged taking one’s own life through levels of shame. A school might not recognize someone in their yearbook or a Church might reject a funeral. This was done in an effort to discourage people from taking their own lives. Knowing more about mental illness today and seeing how suicide rates are on the rise we need to return to the compassionate approach the Church has always truly had.

The answer to “What happens to someone who commits suicide?” is deep, and like any death, the Church does not regularly assign heaven or hell to anyone, leaving judgment to God. However, God is the source of Life. And Christ came that we may “Have life, and have it in abundance” (John 10:10). While suffering is a part of life, God wishes for us to live fully in Him. To cut off this life is seen as a rejection of the Life Giver. To lose hope makes no sense when Christ died to give us hope and in any moment we have the ability to turn to Him, ask for forgiveness and receive it. Sometimes we put hope in money or status. We raise other things as god above the One True God. Times when these false gods fail those who put their hope in them have been cause of suicide. That is that is the saddest and most problematic situation. It is, however, not the most common cause of taking one’s life.
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The more common cause of suicide, as we continually discover is deeper than that. So what if, instead of losing a misplaced hope, rather, is an ongoing struggle with a mental illness? This we discover is a much more common reality. Here, the Church also remains consistent in understanding that there are times when someone is not in the right state of mind. Canon 14 of Timothy of Alexandria (381AD) states that liturgical services should be offered, “If a man having no control of himself lays violent hands on himself or hurls himself to destruction.” This is the compassion of the Church. As we grow to understand the science behind depression and its destructive force in many lives, we should grow in sympathy and love.

The fact remains suicide is never the answer. For the anyone who suffers from mental illness, there should be no shame. We must share our confidence and strength with those who suffer and lead them to seek help often in order to prevent a destructive act against themselves.  For those who do not struggle with depression, there is no place for judgment, but only love. There is no room for us to love when we are judging. And how is someone able to come to us for help if we are judgmental? Furthermore, we must be there for the friends and family members of someone who has taken his or her life.

In 2012 when I, together with a few seminarians, were on our way to Bridgeport, Connecticut, we stopped in Newtown to say a prayer just two days after the awful Sandyhook shooting. Living in Boston at the time, a few days after the Boston Marathon Bombing in 2013, we did a prayer service in the streets of Boston. And on December 2, 2021 I got in my car, pulled out of my driveway and drove just 15 minutes to say a prayer at Oxford High School, where two days prior, a senseless act of violence took four lives and left many in pain and sorrow. All these communities were and still are mourning the loss of life to tragic evil. 
 
Our parents and kids at St. George expressed their hurt too, so we opened our doors for all and did a special service. After the incident, my elementary school son had days off school and area schools have found themselves on lockdown several times. I still get emails from the superintendent of the district on possible threats. God bless the administrators, teachers and students that are working and learning in these conditions. Everyone is still on edge. Everyone is hurting. It’s as if it’s not enough that these kids have had a really difficult last years with school COVID shut-downs and restrictions. It’s compounding. 
 
Meanwhile it’s “the most wonderful time of the year." It’s Christmas season. It is this time of year when we’re supposed to feel joy and excitement, but those who have been through tragedy and trauma may find this time of year exceedingly difficult. Today marks one year from that horrific event in Oxford; one year without those four beautiful kids. So how do we celebrate at this time of year when we're in pain? 
 
Years ago after a friend of mine experienced tragedy, I asked a Professor at seminary, what do I tell him? Dr. Katos reminded me that, “Joy and sorrow can co-exist, but joy and despair cannot.” I found this extremely profound. And at this time of year, when we’re celebrating The Savior’s birth, celebrating God loving us so much that He became man to suffer with us and save us from eternal death through His resurrection, I feel joy creeping in. Is that ok?
 
We all need to be reminded, because sad things happen in our lives: do not shun joy, even when you’re sad. Don’t feel guilty about laughing and smiling in the midst of hurting. It’s ok to have both. When we shun joy because we think it’s not supposed to be there, we close our hearts to love and open it to despair. Don’t go down that road. Despair is lonesome and isolating. 
 
This goes for all of life’s tragedies in a fallen world. And that joy comes from the hope of the resurrection of all because of Christ. 
 
When a light goes out on a strand of Christmas lights, it often knocks out the whole strand. I used to get so frustrated that I would toss them in the trash together. For some reason last year as I pulled them out, my son and I decided to go through each one to light up the whole strand again. The fixture lights the bulb and we just needed to re-light the fixture with a new bulb. I've decided to do that again this year.
 
Christmas lights exist as a reminder that Christ is the light of the world. A light that shines in the darkness. In this dark world, when our lights go out, it impacts the whole strand, but when we are relit or we help others light up, we all light up. 
 
If you’re struggling at this time of year, don’t shun or push out the light. Be sad, but allow joy to enter your heart and be a joy unto others. Shine those lights, especially at this time of year. Could you imagine how grim this time of year would be without this joy?
 
On this day in particular, I pray that the Oxford Community, together with the entire area, and extended world, can still find joy in the hope of Christ’s light shining through a dark world for the sake of the world and that hope in the resurrection of all that is to come. ​

For most of the world, January 1st marks the first day of the year. This day is filled with celebration and new things to come. Mostly, it signifies the beginning of a new cycle of months, seasons, and holidays. These things we expect every year. We know that on January 1st, we can expect the new year to bring Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter. We can expect Independence day in July, Thanksgiving in November, and birthdays throughout the year.

In the same way, September 1st marks the beginning of the new liturgical year for the Church in which we can expect the four fasting periods - the Nativity Fast (Christmas),  Great Lent, the Apostles Fast, and the Dormition Fast. We celebrate major feast days, such as the Elevation of the Holy Cross and Epiphany. We greet each other joyfully on the day of one another’s Saint (name day).

Many cultures begin a new year at different times than that of Western American culture. We have heard of the Chinese New Year (January 22, 2023) and Jewish New Year (Rosh Hashanah -September 25-27, 2022). If other cultures celebrate their new year with pride, perhaps it’s time we give a little more recognition to our Church New Year.

So why do we celebrate the new year on September 1st?
The Roman Empire, which was in control of the regions where Christianity first spread, began their new year on the first of September. When the Church formed it was only natural that she began the year at the same time as those around them. In part, the new year was relative to harvest, and like many time related events, the new year revolved around farming. Since then, western civilization has changed the beginning of the year to January.

Biblically speaking, September 1st has an even greater significance. According to Tradition, Jesus Christ began His earthly ministry on this first day of the Roman New Year. Having spent forty days in the wilderness, he returned to his home town of Nazareth, where he preached from the Prophet Isaiah and was rejected by His own people. (Luke 4:14-30).

Jesus Christ was bold and set the tone for His ministry with this event. He proclaimed the year of the Lord. As such, each year, His All-Holiness, Ecumenical Patriarch of Constantinople observes this day and signs the Protocol Statement initiating the New Ecclesiastical year.
In the life of the Church, every day has significance. We have a Saint or a few Saints to guide us through each day.
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This is your second chance at a new year, a new you, grounded in Christ. Now is a good time to ask yourself, What can you do to make this Ecclesiastical New Year more spiritual? Perhaps you could read the Bible every day, find a spiritual book, take moments to pray, find out more about the day’s saint and perhaps learn to fast better. This is a wonderful opportunity! But as we work on becoming closer to God, find time to love your neighbor better. Be patient, and kind. Offer time and talents to the Church and to those in need. This is how we celebrate the Ecclesiastical New Year!